Shelter in place - Personal

31 images Created 9 May 2020

I am growing fonder and fonder of my daily walks outside of confinement. I stroll leisurely up and down the hills surrounding the house I have been living in for the past 13 days, hoping for a sight of a person doing something outside so to engage, even if from afar -- even for a second.

My camera faithfully around my left arm and my eyes open wide, trying to defeat boredom by looking for something slightly out of place. As perfectly fenced houses with pristine green driveways and geometrically potted flowers seem to be the only reality surrounding this place. And it sometimes drives me crazy. I long for a sense of disorder, for some sort of misplacement and disorganization. I feel uneasily unaccustomed to such sense of normalcy and structure. As nobody seems to be around, I let the spring scents guide me in my exploration. And here I am, driven by instinct of wanting to know, needing to explore and rediscover my resilience, our resilience.

I need to walk, I am eager to see and smell and feel and detach from the sad reality I feel so intrinsically following me everywhere without a hint of interruption when all I wish for it is to disappear into a dream-like suspended realm where all this preoccupation and death would cease.

This knowing that the world is on the brink of collapse thanks to a strange virus nobody seems to understand is exhausting. So, I engage in the luxury that everything around me is still pretty new and undiscovered and every direction I go leads to an unmarked road with infinite possibilities. My thoughts begin to slow down, my fears succumb to the sound of the birds awakening and I submerge into the deep forest surrounding me to find solace in this only sound.

I cannot help but think about where I was supposed to be: living in Milan, Italy... if things had gone according to plan. But it’s seemingly unimportant now. Instead, I find myself (luckily) confining at the house of my best friend from college in Black Mountain, North Carolina.
Being here is a blessing wrapped in curse while my family is far and in danger back home in Italy. My blessing is being consumed by the beauty of this place; meanwhile I feel grateful that I escaped both Italy and New York.
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